THIS IS IT

Saturday night I went out with some friends,  I was already forty ounces deep when my good friend, Danielle Fugere (daniellelouise14.blogspot.com) picked me up and brought me to a bar, where I met other friends, and we shared spirits and good times.  When I arrived home, lo and behold, I was quite a bit drunk.

What follows are the events of that fateful morning.

1:37 AM

I arrived home with my god daughter's mother's husband Peter.  The plan was that he was to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer with me.  Partly because he had to work in four hours, and partly because my home was so filthy, he inclined to leave, which is a polite way of saying he declined to stay.  My home was so filthy in fact, that when he asked if he could get himself a glass of water, I simply replied "Good luck."


1:45 AM

I discovered, while flipping my remote control in an attempt to ascertain which end was intended to be pointed towards the cable box, that I was famished.  Without my cheeto loving friend Danielle to help me, I opted for some pasta left over from the Olive Garden that was in my refrigerator.  While I devoured said pasta, I correctly pointed the remote control and selected an episode of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer.

2:08 AM

I found myself irritated that my cats were not paying apt attention to me.  To resolve this discord, I selected to pour cat nip over the adjacent cushion of the couch I was sitting on.  The result was, simply put, kitty adoration. 

2:40 AM 

Upon the episodes conclusion, I opted to watch a movie, one from a Netflix account that would require pluggng my computer into my television.  Thusly, I stood up, directly onto an ashtray, which compliantly flipped, dispensing ash and cigarette butts onto the floor.

2:41 AM

After making no effort to clean the ashtray spill, I logged onto Netflix and selected This Is It, the Michael Jackson movie.  Next I moved to connect the cord from my computer to my television that would allow me to watch it on the big screen.  It wasn't working.


2:44 AM

I continuously attempted to connect the cord into to television.  I got a broken, reddish, scattered picture.  I tried and tried.  Finally I chose to examine the cord, and upon so I noticed an abberation.  It seemed that there was an alien element lodged in between the tongs of the cord.  I attempted to remove the abberation via any means possible.

2:51 AM

I tried to remove the abberation with my fingers.  No luck.


2:54 AM

I tried to remove the abberation with a match stick.  No luck.


2:59 AM

It occured to me that perhaps if the television was closer to the computer the cord would be less likely to fall out.  I dragged the entire entertainment center several feet closer to the computer desk, in the meanwhile knocking into a shelf, whose contents scattered onto the floor.


3:08 AM 

I realized the abberation was actually a tong that had been pushed downward, I attempted to remove it in hopes that it was unneccesarry.


3:14 AM 

In my attempts, I had thoroughly destroyed the cord, and realized that hooking my computer up to my TV was all but impossible.  I ascertained that the correct course of action was to watch the movie directly on the computer.


3:19AM

I started watching Michael Jackson's:  This is It,   I thoroughly enjoyed it.


3:29 AM

During the movie I found myself again hungry and retrieved a Turkey and Swiss Starbucks sandwich from my refrigerator.



3:38 AM

While finishing up the first half of the sandwich, one of my cat-nipped cats, Sam, stole the second half, which he and my other cat, Diane, flung rampantly about the living room, part playing, part eating.  I laughed and laughed.


3:44 AM

I opened a beer.


3:48 AM

I realized I was very warm, so decided to reinstall the A/C that I had taken out a few days prior.  In the process, my screen came loose so I tossed it into a corner.  A/C in and turned on, I resumed watching the movie.


3:58 AM

I realized part of the reason I was so warm was that I was wearing long pants, a t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, and a sweat shirt.  I promptly removed all of my clothes and threw them aside.


4:38 AM

The movie ended and I became aware of the following items.

           o  This Is It is a movie everyone should see.  It was awesome.
           o  Michael Jackson is probably the most talented person ever born.  I know lots of people
               say this, but I really did not realize or appreciate the entirity of its truth until now.
           o  It is completely possible, albeit likely, that Michael Jackson is still living.

There are reasons for this conspiracy theory.  In watching the movie you see a man, who is dead allegedly days later, who is active and vital.  I mean dancing, singing, spinning, and out doing himself.  He does not seem frail, strung out, addicted, or afflicted.

The events surrounding his death are enormously suspicious, awkward, and clearly full of lies.  There is, beit MJ is dead or alive, an untold story.

Finally, considering the option that Jackson is still alive is not as frivilous as assuming Elvis is alive, or Anna Nicole is alive.  Elvis was a star, then became older, fatter, and addicted.  Anna Nicole was surrounded in controversy.  But no one, no one ever alive, has been as famous as Michael Jackson.  People scream and cry and faint in his prescence.  Even after his trial he was worshipped like a god.  And let's not forget that trial, a not-guilty verdict that still branded him as a child molester.

So let's recap, an enormously famous person, so famous that people weep and faint in his presence, and I am sacrilgious enough to say much like he was Jesus Christ himself, dies under gigantically suspicious circumstsances.  A circus ensues, memorial services, fights between his family.  Meanwhile, all of his albums resurge and sell billions of copies, a greatest hit album is released, a final single, aptly titled This Is It is released, and that a film of the same name hits theaters.

Michael Jackson was famous to a fault.  He wasn't Madonna, Elvis, or Princess Di.  He wasn't Geroge Clooney, Brad Pitt, or Cher.  He was Michael Fucking Jackson.  And although I believe that "Michael Jackson" is dead and gone forever, I do not have a hard time believing that the man that was Michael Jackson is still with us.  Perhaps living out his final days not wanting to be a media spectacle because he has cancer.  Perhaps tipped off that there were more charges being brought against him.   Perhaps just sick of waving out a window and hearing people shriek, sob, scream, and collapse.  Perhaps, after 50 years of being publically crazy, just wanted to be crazy privately, all by himself.

12:39 PM The Next Day

I woke up.  I walked out into my living room.  There was cat nip on my couch.  Half a sandwich on the floor surrounded by ashes and cigarette butts.  My TV had been moved into the center of the room.  There was an empty olive garden box on the floor.  There was a full, open and untouched beer next to my computer.  A window screen lay tossed into the corner.  Clothes were scattered about and a fat, lazy cat slept in the midst of it all.  Meanwhile, the contents of my bookcase were scattered about.  I looked around and thought to myself, What the fuck happened here last night?












As I was waiting for my friend Danielle to pick me up and bring me to work, I thought about the night before.  I realized many things.  One, I figured, was that the only person who really knows if Jackson is still alive is Liz Taylor.  And secondly I realized...

This is it.